‘I love my partner more since his affair’ – Guardian readers on being betrayed


For 40-year-old Anne, the 10 years she has spent with her partner have been defined by betrayal. “A year into what I considered to be a near-perfect relationship, I found out Patrick had had an affair and that the woman was pregnant,” she says. “That child is now like my own and, although we initially split for a few months, Patrick and I have stayed together. People might find it strange but the affair made us closer and I love him now more than ever.”

Staying close after such a colossal betrayal may seem impossible, yet the relationship therapist Andrea Tibbitts has seen many similar situations. She believes betrayal can enhance a relationship if dealt with correctly. “I see it as an opportunity to take the relationship to the next level,” she says. “If both parties can gain closure and the betrayer takes responsibility for their actions, it can mark the end of a damaging relationship and the start of a new, more open and communicative partnership.”

Read the feature in the Guardian.

[This piece was published on 21/05/19]